I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
sarcasm needs its own font
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Randomize
