he wants to bone in the snuggie
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
