I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
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