Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
