She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Congratulations! We have a period
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
