She's JV to your varsity
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
