Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
