I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
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