How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
