If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
