nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
