that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Randomize
