my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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