Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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