Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
