im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
