I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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