i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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