I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I'm too high and old for this...
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
