I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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