At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
We have started to decorate penises.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
