I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
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