just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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