I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
3pm strippers are depressing
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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