don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
