And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
