You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
