So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
