I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
