I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Randomize
