i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
