The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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