this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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