im drinking this country out of the recession.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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