Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
