she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Randomize