You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
