if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
