i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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