But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
