Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
