I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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