Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Randomize
