I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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