God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
