we're blogging at a bar
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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