Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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