We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
