Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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