So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
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