Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Randomize
